I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
