just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
