I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
