WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
