WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
