Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
