Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
