Buhtt sex?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
