you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
