I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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