Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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