I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize