Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
