Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
