I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
