i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
false alarm. still invincible.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
