The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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