Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize
