I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
