I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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