it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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