Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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