bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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