I hate all girls vehemently.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
