Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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