I wanna bring you to show and tell
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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