Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
