the condom got lost in my hair
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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