I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
