im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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