I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
