You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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