Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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