i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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