Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Randomize
