I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
