You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
