she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
True strength comes from lack of pants
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
