butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
