You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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