I can't watch pbs sober anymore
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
