Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
