wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
