there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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