Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
