Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
