i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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