and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
