and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
