I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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