AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You were trust falling into bushes
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
