you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
