The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
