The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
