I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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