I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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